A (Non-Comprehensive) List Of Everything Wrong With Lil’ Dicky and Chris Brown’s “Freaky Friday” Video.

If you haven’t seen the latest collaboration between generic white guy “rapper,” Lil’ Dicky, and misogynoirist extraordinaire, Chris Brown, allow me to save you five and a half minutes of your life.

The breakdown:

1. Chris Brown is still alive, and making music.
2. Boring intro where Lil’ Dicky says he’s tired of being pigeonholed as a shitty white rapper, even though he is one.
3. Chris Brown says he’s stressed out for “always being scrutinized” for being an abusive asshole.
4. Stereotypical mystical Asian elder has Chris Brown and Lil’ Dicky switch bodies.
5. Lil’ Dicky wakes up in Chris Brown’s body, which is literally Blackface.
6. Seriously, you should Google “digital Blackface” and familiarize yourself with the new methods white people have developed for turning our identity into a costume.
7. The only two Black women in the video are Chris Brown’s daughter and a random model— both used as props.
8. Within the first 10 lines of the song, Lil Dicky— in his coon-skin suit— wonders if he can “really say the N-Word,” and proceeds to say it a dozen times in a row.
9. Repeat: white “rapper” Lil’ Dicky says nigger 12 times on a record in 2018, and some of y’all laugh because he used a Black body to do it.
10. Dicky then celebrates the fact that he’s “light skinned Black,” because apparently its cool for white people to make jokes about colorism now. This is their lane, as long as Chris Brown co-signs it.
11. Chris Brown then wakes up as Lil’ Dicky and says it’s “great” that nobody’s judging him for his “controversial past”—which, again, includes beating Black women—so he can finally “relax.”
12. Lil Dicky makes 3 or 4 fetishizing references to Black penis. I honestly lost count.
13. Ed Sheeran cameo. He’s currently being sued for stealing music from Black women.
14. DJ Khaled cameo. He’s a non-Black ‘artist’ profiting exclusively from Black music while rarely, if ever, paying homage to Black artists.
15. Kendall “Pepsi-will-end-racism” Jenner cameo, to really drive home the point that Lil’ Dicky thinks anti-Blackness is a fucking joke for him to capitalize on.

What did I miss?

This concept isn’t even original, and has been better done by at least a half dozen BLACK emcees. In fact, why is anybody listening to white rappers? Especially when it comes to songs about race? Go listen to Sammus instead.

If you think "Freaky Friday” is OK because “iT’s jUsT jOkEz LoLz!” kindly delete yourself from my existence.

Donations & reparations to the author welcome, but only if you got it like that.